How shyness is developed and maintained?

Shyness
really is a combination of social anxiety and social conditioning. To overcome
shyness you need to learn to relax socially. This enables you to direct your
attention away from yourself and gives you the space to practice certain
conversational skills. In most cases, the heightened emotions of socializing
when young simply condition the sufferer to respond to social events with fear,
instead of excitement and pleasure.
Relaxed
socializing is so pleasurable, not to say productive, but it is an advantage
denied to many until they learn to relax. To start reducing your own shyness, I
want you to absorb the following tips and ideas and start to put them into
practice:
1) Think
about the way you feel and behave around familiar people you are comfortable
and spontaneous around. It’s that feeling transferred to new people and
situations that equates to your emerging social confidence.
2) Focus
your attention away from yourself. Sure, you can think a little bit about how
you are coming across, but if all your focus is on your own words and feelings
then you might as well be by yourself. Notice what other people are wearing and
make a mental note, listen to their conversation, imagine where they might
live, make a point of remembering names. Not only does this give you more to
talk about, it also ‘dilutes’ social anxiety leaving you feeling calmer.
3) Ask
people open questions. Many people like to talk about themselves and will find
you interesting if you find them interesting. Ask questions that require more
than a ‘yes’/’no’ response such as ‘What do you like about this place?’ rather
than: ‘Do you like this place?’ Once they’ve answered use ‘add-on’ questions
connected to the first such as: ‘What other places do you like in this city.?’
Next you can express your views. This is a great way to get the conversation
going. If the conversation doesn’t ‘take’ then no matter, you’ve done your bit.
4) Stop
trusting your imagination so much! Have you ever had an imaginary picture in
your mind of a holiday destination only to arrive and find the reality is
different from the way you had imagined? That’s how reliable imagination is.
Stop imagining what others think. I do lots of public speaking and I’ve long
since stopped trying to second guess what others think of me – it’s just too
painful. Besides, what a person thinks about you has a lot more to do with who
they are than who you are.
5) Stop
using ‘all or nothing’ thinking. The ‘completely this/completely that’ style of
thought occurs when you are emotional. People who are depressed, angry or
anxious see reality in terms of differing extremes, simplistic all or nothing
terms. An angry person is ‘right’ and you are ‘wrong’; the depressed person
feels like a ‘failure’ while others are a ‘success’. In reality, life is
composed of infinite gray areas. So stop fearing that you might say the ‘wrong’
thing! Or that people will ‘hate’ you. Once you start to relax more socially
you’ll notice much less black or white thinking because anxiety actually causes
you to think in all or nothing terms.
6) Take
your time. You don’t have to blurt things out. Ask questions and if questions
are asked of you can take time to consider your response (within reason). Don’t
just blurt out what you think might be the ‘right’ answer. A slow answer is a
relaxed answer.
7) Finally,
use hypnotic rehearsal. Hypnosis is the quickest way to change your
instinctive/emotional response to any situation. Only think about meeting
others when your mind and body is relaxed. This conditions you to associate
relaxation with being around new people. In fact you’ll find that when you
relax deeply enough often enough whilst hypnotically rehearsing being
comfortable around others you’ll reach the point where you just can’t be shy
any more! This is what I call a ‘happy inability!’
I
now love meeting new people and suspect that my current social confidence would
be unrecognizable to my fifteen year old self.
Overcome shyness now at
HypnosisDownloads.com

How shyness is developed and maintained?

Shyness
really is a combination of social anxiety and social conditioning. To overcome
shyness you need to learn to relax socially. This enables you to direct your
attention away from yourself and gives you the space to practice certain
conversational skills. In most cases, the heightened emotions of socializing
when young simply condition the sufferer to respond to social events with fear,
instead of excitement and pleasure.
Relaxed
socializing is so pleasurable, not to say productive, but it is an advantage
denied to many until they learn to relax. To start reducing your own shyness, I
want you to absorb the following tips and ideas and start to put them into
practice:
1) Think
about the way you feel and behave around familiar people you are comfortable
and spontaneous around. It’s that feeling transferred to new people and
situations that equates to your emerging social confidence.
2) Focus
your attention away from yourself. Sure, you can think a little bit about how
you are coming across, but if all your focus is on your own words and feelings
then you might as well be by yourself. Notice what other people are wearing and
make a mental note, listen to their conversation, imagine where they might
live, make a point of remembering names. Not only does this give you more to
talk about, it also ‘dilutes’ social anxiety leaving you feeling calmer.
3) Ask
people open questions. Many people like to talk about themselves and will find
you interesting if you find them interesting. Ask questions that require more
than a ‘yes’/’no’ response such as ‘What do you like about this place?’ rather
than: ‘Do you like this place?’ Once they’ve answered use ‘add-on’ questions
connected to the first such as: ‘What other places do you like in this city.?’
Next you can express your views. This is a great way to get the conversation
going. If the conversation doesn’t ‘take’ then no matter, you’ve done your bit.
4) Stop
trusting your imagination so much! Have you ever had an imaginary picture in
your mind of a holiday destination only to arrive and find the reality is
different from the way you had imagined? That’s how reliable imagination is.
Stop imagining what others think. I do lots of public speaking and I’ve long
since stopped trying to second guess what others think of me – it’s just too
painful. Besides, what a person thinks about you has a lot more to do with who
they are than who you are.
5) Stop
using ‘all or nothing’ thinking. The ‘completely this/completely that’ style of
thought occurs when you are emotional. People who are depressed, angry or
anxious see reality in terms of differing extremes, simplistic all or nothing
terms. An angry person is ‘right’ and you are ‘wrong’; the depressed person
feels like a ‘failure’ while others are a ‘success’. In reality, life is
composed of infinite gray areas. So stop fearing that you might say the ‘wrong’
thing! Or that people will ‘hate’ you. Once you start to relax more socially
you’ll notice much less black or white thinking because anxiety actually causes
you to think in all or nothing terms.
6) Take
your time. You don’t have to blurt things out. Ask questions and if questions
are asked of you can take time to consider your response (within reason). Don’t
just blurt out what you think might be the ‘right’ answer. A slow answer is a
relaxed answer.
7) Finally,
use hypnotic rehearsal. Hypnosis is the quickest way to change your
instinctive/emotional response to any situation. Only think about meeting
others when your mind and body is relaxed. This conditions you to associate
relaxation with being around new people. In fact you’ll find that when you
relax deeply enough often enough whilst hypnotically rehearsing being
comfortable around others you’ll reach the point where you just can’t be shy
any more! This is what I call a ‘happy inability!’
I
now love meeting new people and suspect that my current social confidence would
be unrecognizable to my fifteen year old self.
Overcome shyness now at
HypnosisDownloads.com

7 Ways to Soothe your Shyness

Shy
people instinctively know that they are missing out. Shyness equals lost
opportunities, less pleasure and fewer social connections. Shyness can be
crippling but there are tried and tested ways to make it a thing of the past.
When
I was fifteen I was shy. I recall an attractive girl attempting to engage me in
conversation. My shyness made me focus on me instead of her. I heard my own
voice but not hers and I thought about what I was trying to say instead of what
she was trying to say.
The
formula for shyness is “too much focus on the self” plus anxiety. To
make it even more unpleasant, sometimes when you are feeling shy you experience
physical sensations which ‘hijack’ your calm logical self.
My
pulse raced, my mouth dried up and I felt like the village idiot! I couldn’t
think what to say so I said nothing apart from making barely audible grunting
noises! Cary Grant eat your heart out! When I detected pity in her eyes (or was
it contempt, or boredom) I mumbled my excuse and got out of there. I hated
being shy and was determined to change it.

7 Ways to Soothe your Shyness

Shy
people instinctively know that they are missing out. Shyness equals lost
opportunities, less pleasure and fewer social connections. Shyness can be
crippling but there are tried and tested ways to make it a thing of the past.
When
I was fifteen I was shy. I recall an attractive girl attempting to engage me in
conversation. My shyness made me focus on me instead of her. I heard my own
voice but not hers and I thought about what I was trying to say instead of what
she was trying to say.
The
formula for shyness is “too much focus on the self” plus anxiety. To
make it even more unpleasant, sometimes when you are feeling shy you experience
physical sensations which ‘hijack’ your calm logical self.
My
pulse raced, my mouth dried up and I felt like the village idiot! I couldn’t
think what to say so I said nothing apart from making barely audible grunting
noises! Cary Grant eat your heart out! When I detected pity in her eyes (or was
it contempt, or boredom) I mumbled my excuse and got out of there. I hated
being shy and was determined to change it.

Why you need to reclaim hypnosis for yourself?

Hypnosis
is your birthright. It’s nature’s optimum learning tool. In fact to learn and
perform anything well you need to experience a natural focussing of attention,
a natural kind of hypnosis. To be successful hypnosis needs to be your
companion and friend.
Successful
people use it naturally all the time because hypnosis is natural. It’s the way
we learn new responses. Unlike medications its side effects are purely positive
– one expectant mother I worked with to feel relaxed during child birth later
reported that she was also more relaxed when flying!
Hypnosis
is easy to learn and every body can benefit. Hypnosis is a safe environment to
‘try out’ new behaviours and emotional patterns before you experience them for
real. So the young man can ask a woman out for a date many times in calm
relaxed hypnosis so that by the time he does it for real it feels real and
natural and relaxed. Sports people who use hypnosis learn new quicker and more
accurately. So hypnosis gives you more control of yourself and your life, it’s
natural and gives you instant benefits and it’s a way of ‘trying on’ and
establishing new patterns of emotional response and behaviour, Hypnosis enables
you to develop yourself as a human being.
HypnosisDownloads.com
offer a free course called ‘Learn Hypnosis in 5 Days‘.

How can I be so sure?

Because
over the decades I’ve seen all kinds of people, all ages and from all
backgrounds turn their lives around thanks to hypnosis. When you use hypnosis
for yourself it improves confidence in all kinds of ways. When you use it to
change other’s lives it just blows you away. This is what I mean.

When
I first hypnotised someone to feel no sensation in a painful arthritic arm it
was an incredible feeling. When I first cured life long phobias quickly and
comfortably I was astounded. When I stopped hardened alcoholics from drinking
and even got a heroin addict off the stuff and back into mainstream life again
I started to feel angry that people could just associate hypnosis with
entertainment.

With
the aid of hypnosis I (and many people I have trained and worked with) have
helped severely depressed people feel strong and positive again. The rewards
and satisfactions are hard to describe. I’m going to take a stand against
ignorance and short sightedness around hypnosis and here’s why.

How can I be so sure?

Because
over the decades I’ve seen all kinds of people, all ages and from all
backgrounds turn their lives around thanks to hypnosis. When you use hypnosis
for yourself it improves confidence in all kinds of ways. When you use it to
change other’s lives it just blows you away. This is what I mean.

When
I first hypnotised someone to feel no sensation in a painful arthritic arm it
was an incredible feeling. When I first cured life long phobias quickly and
comfortably I was astounded. When I stopped hardened alcoholics from drinking
and even got a heroin addict off the stuff and back into mainstream life again
I started to feel angry that people could just associate hypnosis with
entertainment.

With
the aid of hypnosis I (and many people I have trained and worked with) have
helped severely depressed people feel strong and positive again. The rewards
and satisfactions are hard to describe. I’m going to take a stand against
ignorance and short sightedness around hypnosis and here’s why.

Why you are more in control of yourself in hypnosis?

If
someone expresses concerns about being ‘controlled’ in hypnosis what they mean
is they don’t want to be like a robot, an automaton that is forced to obey the
every whim of the hypnotist. We can’t help but influence others but we don’t
control them. To understand why you need to understand hypnosis better.

Why you are more in control of yourself in hypnosis?

If
someone expresses concerns about being ‘controlled’ in hypnosis what they mean
is they don’t want to be like a robot, an automaton that is forced to obey the
every whim of the hypnotist. We can’t help but influence others but we don’t
control them. To understand why you need to understand hypnosis better.

So what is hypnosis like?

Hypnosis
isn’t like a coma. It’s not unconsciousness – more a subtle shifting of
consciousness. In hypnosis, you can still think logically but you also have
access to the ‘software’ of your mind so that you can update instinctive
emotional and physical responses. In fact the hypnotised subject (not the
hypnotist) calls the shots. When I hypnotise someone I need to go at their
speed and respond to their needs and expectations. Hypnosis will give you more
control in your own life because of what it enables you to do.